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[14 Mar 2015|01:10am] |
 'you’re not still doing that silly group therapy, are you?' 'oh no, that one was awful. you had to listen to a load of other people’s ridiculous problems. all in a tiny room together. i couldn’t breathe.' |
( Read more... )
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| 18 April 1998 |
[18 Aug 2011|06:53am] |
WARDED TO GRYFFINDORSA seventh year died? That’s not true is it? I overheard a couple of third years talking about it last night. But they also said that’s why we had to get up to have our dorms searched in the middle of the night and that doesn’t make sense. What is going on?
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| 14 April 1998 |
[14 Aug 2011|02:31am] |
WARDED TO G6Quidditch, anyone? Dad says I can have people over. We don’t have to play quidditch I just thought it might be fun. We could go to the beach or the shops or whatever. END WARD
I feel really sorry for people who get sea sick. I also feel sorry for people with Vertigo but that's unrelated.
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| 24 March 1998 |
[24 Jul 2011|07:18am] |
WARDED TO HUNTERI’m supposed to Demelza and I were wondering if you would like to join us in a birthday celebration for Vicks on Monday? We were just going to make a card or write her a little, maybe swear at someone for her. I’m honestly not sure.
END WARD
Does anyone know exactly how many days we have left before break?
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| 1 March 1998 |
[30 Jun 2011|06:31am] |
WARDED TO GRYFFINDORSSo. I was trying that five quick tips thing – and I got a bit distracted. If you’ve melded part of a rug to the floor how do you undo that?
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| 20 February 1998 |
[20 Jun 2011|06:16am] |
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Why don't they just ban fun?!
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| 14 February 1998 |
[14 Jun 2011|06:06am] |
WARDED TO DEMELZAUntitled Fairy Tale Part II: The Handmaiden's Revenge
By Ella Bundy
Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Princess, who had a strange obsession with responsibility and one of the foulest mouths in the entire kingdom. Though the Princess and her family had ruled the kingdom in relative peace for many years a time came when that was no longer the case. At the start of our story the Princess has been banished and trolls have taken over the kingdom. The trolls are cruel to their subjects. Like, bloody awful. Not cruel in the comical sense but just properly cruel. This is tale about the Princesses friends and those who were left behind.
As the trolls seized control of the kingdom many things changed, and not the good kind of change. Not the silver lining kind of change. Not the “there’s a hidden meaning here” type of change. It was all bad. Like I said, they were needlessly cruel and there’s no reason to go into detail. The Princesses ladies in waiting became handmaiden’s – The Evil Count embarked on his own adventure (journey, quest, expedition) that would end we know not where – and the Knight faded into some kind of frowny faced obscurity. He went off to found The Land of No Smiles, I honestly have no idea what became of him. The Princesses other friends soldiered on too, but no one was exactly well, they all wondered exactly what her exile was like, and when the kingdom might return to the way it had once been.
Time passed slowly for the handmaiden’s (formerly ladies in waiting ect) one of them suffered hardships that we shall not speak of and the other did her best to help but sometimes it didn’t feel like enough. And then one fine morning – as the latter handmaiden was sketching a comical vision of their troll overlords on the back of an envelope, she had an idea. A few days earlier the handmaiden had talked to a Duke let’s call him Duke Ridiculous, an oafish sort of person who was attempting to market colognes that smelled like lemon of all things. I mean seriously? Lemon. The handmaiden told her partner in crime her idea and they slowly set about plotting the downfall of the trolls.
To this day no one realizes that when they mist themselves with Duke’s cologne they are actually spraying little bits of trolls along with all of that lemon.
The names in this story have been changed to protect the identities of those involved. END WARD
Happy Sugar High Day, Hogwarts!
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| 5 February 1998 |
[05 Jun 2011|03:00am] |
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Alright. Who would like one of these rose gram message things? I will send one to anyone with the understanding that (a) It will in no way be romantic, and (b) I reserve the right to make it anonymous and write creepy things.
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| 24 January 1998 |
[24 May 2011|02:50pm] |
WARDED TO VICTORIAThere once was a man from Peru,
Who dreamt of eating his shoe,
he awoke with a fright,
in the middle of the night,
and found that his dream had come true!
I miss you. END WARD
WARDED TO DEMELZAJoin the E.P.C. with me? END WARD
I'm so tired of winter.
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| 4 January 1998 |
[04 May 2011|07:39pm] |
WARDED TO DEMELZA, RITCHIE, AND GEOFFREYI'm so sorry. Please let me know if you need anything. END WARD
WARDED TO VICTORIAHello. END WARD
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| 20 December 1997 |
[20 Apr 2011|05:35am] |
WARDED TO G6We’re getting closer and closer to that time of year where I ask one of you to explain Auld Lang Syne to me again.
I'll just say Happy Christmas now, in case I don't see everyone over break. END WARD
Finally.
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| 12 December 1997 |
[12 Apr 2011|04:29pm] |
WARDED TO G6 MINUS DEMELZA AND JACKApparently it is Jack’s birthday today? No one said. Or they did and I did not hear them.
Also, Demelza’s birthday is coming up soon. Has anyone bought her a gift yet? Or do you know what she might want? Because the only thought that’s occurred to me is that she might like one of our Professor’s head’s on a platter but this is both too difficult, gory, and consequence riddled to bother with. END WARD
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| 04 December 1997 |
[04 Apr 2011|03:12pm] |
WARDED TO DEMELZA AND VICTORIAUntitled Fairy Tale
By Ella Bundy
Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Princess, who often lived in denial regarding her true feelings (insert other romantic, flowery claptrap here). The Princess was beautiful and brave and had a strange obsession with responsibility. She also had one of the foulest mouths in the entire kingdom. Our fair Princess had lived an almost idyllic existence for years, punishing rule-breakers, and spending time with her ladies in waiting who were surprisingly far wiser than she. Like, a million times wiser. The Princess grew up with an Evil Count (granted she didn’t know he was evil for years and years but I’ll get to that part) – although he was typically very funny, and also excellent at creative swearing, the Count harbored a dark secret, deep within his tiny black heart. He was apparently the jealous type. A look that becomes no one.
As the Princess aged (and started to get laugh lines around her eyes, no doubt. Her ladies in waiting were also hilarious, comedic geniuses, the likes of which the world had never seen) – her feelings (and other romantic nonsense) became rather transparent to those who knew her best. Our dear Princess fancied a Knight, and he was no ordinary Knight – but rather the grumpiest, rudest Knight in all of the land. But apparently our Princess was into that sort of thing, she did not find smiles attractive. Maybe she just liked the looks of his bum, the details are unimportant. The point is, the beautiful, wise, ladies in waiting took matters into their own hands and told the Knight about the Princess and her lust that could not be contained.
The Evil Count did not like this apparently, maybe it was the black heart, or a green-eyed monster, or perhaps he just didn’t understand the appeal in such blatant grumpiness. Some people find that offensive and hard to deal with, I’m just saying. For dramatic purposes we’ll say that the Evil Count fancied the Princess, and so he laid a trap – with the help of her Wicked Step-Sister. The fearsome and beautiful (and yes, wicked) Wicked Step-Sister had recently been heartlessly mocked by the Knight who in his infinite grumpiness did not seem to understand feminine sensibilities. And so the Evil Count and the Wicked Step-Sister laid a trap, and the grumpy Knight just walked right into it.
The Knight didn’t die or anything but the Princess was still horribly offended and probably felt betrayed and sad (insert other human emotions here). And so her ladies in waiting fed the Evil Count to a dragon, and turned the Wicked Step-Sister’s skin green. Because that is what friends are for.
The names in this story have been changed to protect the identities of those involved. END WARD
Demelza, I think we need to work on making your life more entertaining. Vicks set the bar pretty high.
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| 24 November 1997 |
[24 Mar 2011|04:14pm] |
WARDED TO DEMELZA AND VICTORIAI accidentally lit my charms essay on fire. I can’t possibly be expected to remember all of what I wrote, I tried and I only have half the length required. Help. END WARD
Why is it always the fourth floor lavatories that are blessed with graffiti? There is a beautif an inappropriate drawing just inside the door. Again.
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| 20 November 1997 |
[19 Mar 2011|10:40pm] |
WARDED TO VICTORIA AND DEMELZAI have decided that you should both ask blokes to the winter ball. Make it so. END WARD
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